I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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