how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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