I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
