I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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