The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
