For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
