I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
