who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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