i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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