I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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