I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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