People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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