I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize