my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
