I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
