All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
