i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i've created a new STD.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
