Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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