So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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