i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
