Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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