I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
