Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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