Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
