I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i dont even know how to be here
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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