Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
