I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
