just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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