if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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