there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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