escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
