I want to stick my p in your. b.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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