I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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