He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
