I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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