when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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