Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
