on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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