I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
