People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
