But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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