Im at strip club and am horny
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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