The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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