I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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