you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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