He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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