they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He did a backflip because drugs
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