with your own penis?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
