I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
