that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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